The Home Your Choices Build

Today’s Theme

Every decision you make is constructing the life you’re living. Whether you see it or not, you’re building something. One day, you’ll walk through the “house” your choices created.

The fundamental question is: Will it be one you’re proud to live in?

The Carpenter’s Final House

There was once a master carpenter who became known for his craftsmanship and consistency. After years of hard work, he told his employer he was ready to retire. He was ready to slow down and enjoy time with his family.

The contractor respected his wishes, but asked for one final favor: “Build just one more house.”

Reluctantly, the carpenter agreed. But his heart wasn’t in it. He used cheaper materials, rushed through tasks, and ignored the small details that once defined his work. It was just one last project. He figured no one would notice.

When the house was done, the contractor surprised him.

“Thank you for all your years of dedication,” he said. “This house is yours. It’s my gift to you.”

The carpenter was stunned. He immediately became filled with regret. Had he known he was building his own home, he would’ve done everything differently.

Self-Signaling

Excellence doesn’t show up on demand. It’s developed through a thousand small decisions made with intention. It’s not just about how you show up when the stakes are high, it’s about how you show up when no one’s watching.

Cutting corners might seem harmless in the moment, but over time it becomes your standard.

Shortcuts signal to your brain that “This doesn’t really matter.” And the more those signals are sent, the more the standard gets redefined. Not through words, but through action.

The real danger isn’t one bad rep. It’s the slow erosion of integrity. It’s what happens when the version of ourselves we want to become gets separated from the version we repeatedly choose to be.

In behavioral psychology, this is where self-signaling becomes critical. Self-signaling is the idea that your brain is always observing your behavior to decide who you are.

Think of every decision as polishing a mirror that reflects who you are. When you act in line with your values, the image gets clearer. When you cut corners, the mirror fogs up and eventually you don’t recognize the person staring back.

So when you cut a corner, even if no one else sees it, your brain does. You cast a vote: “This is who I am.”

But the reverse is also true.

Every time you uphold a high standard, even when it’s inconvenient or unnoticed, you cast a vote for the kind of performer and person you want to be.

When athletes understand that their behavior today is shaping who they become tomorrow, the smallest details take on new weight.

If They Build It, They’ll Protect It

If you want your athletes to take pride in their process and performance, you have to intentionally build an environment that transfers ownership and promotes high standards.

Here are some ways to not just demand accountability, but to transfer it to those you lead.

1. Create “Own It” Opportunities

Give athletes opportunities to lead small, but meaningful parts of the process: Leading warmups, dissecting film breakdowns, making tactical decisions in practice drills, or contributing to scouting meetings. Let them feel the weight of responsibility and the pride that comes with it.

2. Enforce Microstandards

Your culture lives in the smallest behaviors. Touch every line. Maintain eye contact when someone speaks. Show up on time or early. Take notes in meetings. It’s easy to overlook these things, but they’re the details where discipline is forged.

3. Let Athletes Help Design the Blueprint

Involve your players in shaping routines, schedules, and even standards. Ask for their input. When people help build the structure, they’re more likely to stay committed to it. When they feel seen and heard, they buy in with their full self, not just their skillset.

Final Thoughts:

At some point, every person will look back on their career and ask, “Did I do it the right way?”

As a leader, help them build a story they’re proud to tell. One where the small things mattered and where effort wasn’t situational.

Because in the end, we don’t rise to our intentions. We rise to our standards.

Inspiration for This Piece:

• Medcalf, J. (2015). Chop wood, carry water: How to fall in love with the process of becoming great. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.