The Forgotten Astronaut

Today’s Theme:

Why do so many people reach the top only to find themselves strangely unfulfilled?

Part of the answer is that most of what we chase is externally driven, but the things that look like success on the outside don’t always bring peace on the inside.

So what if true success isn’t measured by applause at all?

Because even on the most famous mission in human history, one astronaut found their fulfillment not in the spotlight of the lunar surface, but in the shadows that made success possible.

“The Most Alone Any Human Has Ever Been”

In July 1969, the world cheered as Neil Armstrong took that historic first step onto the lunar surface. Buzz Aldrin followed and together they became legends. But Apollo 11 was not a two-man mission. A third astronaut, Michael Collins, made it possible.

While Armstrong and Aldrin explored the surface, Collins stayed behind in the Command Module, Columbia. For over 21 hours, he orbited the moon alone, completing 26 orbits, serving as the mission’s critical pilot, and preparing for the return trip.

When Columbia slipped behind the moon, he was completely cut off from contact with Earth and had no communication with his crewmates. NASA called it “the most alone any human has ever been.” Yet Collins performed his role with calm precision, fully embracing the responsibility of it.

Later, when asked if he regretted not walking on the moon, he said: “I was perfectly happy with the seat I had and the part I played in it. All three seats were required for mission success.”

His story forces us to consider: What if the most important victories in life are the ones no one sees?

The Hidden Cost of Chasing Status

Humans are wired for hierarchy. Psychologists call it the “dominance hierarchy” and it shapes much of our behavior. For our ancestors, higher status meant greater access to food, shelter, safety, and mates. Today, it plays out in the goals we set: Promotions, championships, increased salaries, rankings, and social followings.

The dominance hierarchy shows up in coaching too. Coaches will start comparing themselves to rivals, obsessing over rankings, measuring your career against other coaches’ records and contracts. That scoreboard is powerful. But it can also leave you restless. Because even if/when you reach those long-awaited goals, something still feels off.

Psychologists describe this as the “arrival fallacy”—the sense of letdown we feel after finally achieving what we thought would bring us lasting happiness. You climb the ladder, only to discover the view isn’t as satisfying as you imagined. The applause fades, and we’re left asking, “Is this all there is?”

This is where Michael Collins provides such a striking counterexample. While two astronauts took history-making steps, Collins never set foot on the lunar surface. Yet instead of bitterness or envy, he radiated acceptance. He understood his role, he embraced it, and he found contentment in contributing to the larger mission.

Now compare that to a modern athlete under the brightest spotlight: World No. 1 golfer Scottie Scheffler. Prior to winning the 2025 Open Championship, he gave a remarkably candid press conference (video below).

He admitted the fleeting nature of victories: “This is not the be-all and end-all...it’s fulfilling from the sense of accomplishment, but it’s not fulfilling from the deepest places of your heart.” He described how the thrill of winning fades within minutes before the cycle resets.

Scheffler even said he’d walk away from the game if it ever compromised his family: “I’d much rather be a great father than a great golfer.”

Two very different men, in two very different arenas, yet both highlight the same truth: Externally-driven goals can’t sustain fulfillment. Contentment comes when you define success on your own terms.

Society vs. Personal Scoreboard

Former University of Washington and Boise State University football coach, Chris Petersen, has become outspoken about the struggles and imbalance of being a head coach.

In an article in The Athletic, he spoke about two scoreboards: The one society runs and the one you create for yourself.

Society’s scoreboard is easy to see: It includes wins, money, fame, promotions, approval, and rank. Let’s be clear, these things do matter as they can shape opportunities and outcomes. But Petersen pointed out their limitation: They never fully satisfy. The scoreboard just resets.

The personal scoreboard, on the other hand, is intrinsic. It’s about things like your relationships, health, growth, purpose, and service. When you live by it, you find a deeper sense of balance and fulfillment, even in the grind of coaching.

So how do you create your own scoreboard? Here are three steps:

1. Clarify what matters most.
Ask: What do I want my life to stand for? Which values will I never regret investing in? What priorities will I not compromise or negotiate in pursuit of excellence?

2. Choose controllable actions.
Play to your scoreboard by focusing on behaviors you control. For example: Making time for family dinners, journaling daily, investing in your health, writing thank-you notes, or connecting with someone who’s relationship you value.

Ask: What can I do today, within my control, that reflects what matters most?

3. Keep score on what matters.
Don’t just count wins and losses. Keep score on your consistency and growth with your values. Instead of asking, “Did I win?” ask: “Did I coach, lead, or live in a way that reflected what matters most today?”

Remember: The point isn’t to ignore society’s scoreboard. Society’s scoreboard is real and it plays a meaningful role, but if you let it define your worth, you’ll always be chasing.

Final Thoughts:

Michael Collins’ orbit and Scottie Scheffler’s honesty converge toward the same principle: You don’t have to let society define what counts as success.

One man worked in silence, unseen but indispensable. The other has stood in the spotlight, celebrated as the best in his field. Yet both remind us that fulfillment isn’t found in external applause. It’s found internally within our purpose and our values.

The deepest victories are won not by being seen, but by living true to what you say matters most.

Inspiration for This Piece:

• https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/2576778/2021/05/11/chris-petersen-reflects-on-the-busyness-the-imbalance-and-the-out-of-control-recruiting-grind-of-college-football/

• Schurrer, T. (2022). The secret society of success: Stop chasing the spotlight and learn to enjoy your work (and life) again. Thomas Nelson Publishing.

The Threshold Lab Podcast:

This week on The Threshold Lab, I chatted with former Division I women’s basketball coach, Joanne McCallie. “Coach P” is the only coach to ever win Coach of the Year honors in four different conferences and amassed 646 career wins (placing her in the Top 100 all-time for women’s basketball).

If you're new to the podcast, you'll also find shorter, bite-sized solo episodes throughout the week exploring mindset and performance principles. If you enjoy my conversation with Coach McCallie (or any of my other episodes), it would mean a lot for you to rate and review the show on whatever platform you use.

You can listen to all past episodes here: The Threshold Lab Podcast.

With gratitude,

ZB